I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
