I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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