the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
