you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
