Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
