You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
NoShamevember. You game?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
