I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
