Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
