Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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