I'm laying in your front yard are you home
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
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