All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Also, beer. Big fan.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Two words: blizzard sex
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
