I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
