So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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