he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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