If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
