She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
