Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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