dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
