She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
