dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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