I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm bleeding and have questions
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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