Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
