put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
