Too much gin, very little bucket
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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