Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i out mim tonsoeep
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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