it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
