That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
