I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
