I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
