her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
