How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
