sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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