thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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