Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
