It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
