NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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