Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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