I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
