it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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