i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
