if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
