I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
