so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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