I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
