I wanna passion pit in your ass
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
