I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
