How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
