I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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