i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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