I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
