I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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